stay in the shallow end

So those fancy toilets I blogged about a couple of months ago are also installed in O’Hare. There’s a brouhaha about how they spend $67,258 per month on the plastic alone for the toilet condoms, and an additional $51,423 per month in maintenance. Maintenance includes a contractor going around and checking whether or not the plastic needs replacing. Amazingly enough, this totals up to $1,424,172 so you can have fresh plastic under your bum while using an airport bathroom.

Read the whole story at the Sun-Times here.

While people generally think of Alabama as being pretty backwards, I can personally attest that the Birmingham Airport has the most advanced toilet technology that I’ve witnessed in the country. (I believe Japanese toilets that have built in seat warmers and spray you down when you’re done still hold the global crown). Let me introduce you to the Bella Bagno:

Note the lovely diagram explaining how this quantum leap in toilet technology works. The authoritative lettering stating For Your Convenience and Protection. Here’s a pictures of the actual unit:

It’s essentially a gigantic condom for the toilet seat! Now you too can practice safe pooping. It made me feel SO safe, despite the fact that you are far more likely to catch an infectious disease from a doorknob or even your own keyboard. And of course, like every dime spent in the airport, I’m sure it somehow gets connected back to post 9/11 security. I can see the Bella Bagno marketing person saying, “Listen, what you, as an airport, needs to do to encourage more people to fly is to make them feel safe. The public needs to think that you’re covering every angle of their safety, and what could show your commitment better than a toilet condom.”

I will say, though, that the toilet condom has an elegant simplicity to it’s interface: A Big Red Button.

It’s pretty mesmerizing watching the plastic shuffle around when you press the button. I do admit, I did press it more than once… probably four times. As is often the case in the bathroom, I couldn’t contain myself.